We are sad to announce that Barbara Adams died at Toronto Western Hospital on February 21st, 2025, peacefully, in her 78th year surrounded by some of her nearest and dearest.

 

Barbara is survived by her children, Ryan and Cheryl, her older sister, Dorothy Peacock, in Alabama, her grandson, Theo, and numerous nieces and nephews, cousins and in-laws, both in the Stratford area and the Southern US.  Barbara was born in Stratford General Hospital on April 3rd, 1947 to Ernest and Annie Selves (Colquhoun), a farming family near St. Marys, ON. She was predeceased by her parents and her older brother, Murray Selves who died tragically in a drowning accident in 1981.  She often spoke of her parents who, like many rural people at the time, had only basic education but who were smart and wise.  They raised her and her siblings to value education, to be capable and ambitious as well as community-minded and generous.  All three fulfilled those criteria to a remarkable degree.

 

Barbara, like her parents and siblings, received her elementary education in the local one-room school where she was always top of her class and enjoyed helping the teacher with the other pupils.  She went on to excel at St. Marys District Collegiate where she met Louise Clarke who became a lifelong friend.  Barbara obtained an Honours BA in History at the University of Western Ontario. Two summer jobs during that time were especially formative: a reporter with the Stratford Beacon Herald where she covered the Shakespearean Festival and Expo ’67 in Montreal where she was a hostess in the Man and his World theme pavilion.

 

After graduation in 1969, Barbara married John Adams and moved to Toronto.  She worked for a while at the Ontario Department of Agriculture and then as a freelance photographer. The couple threw caution to the wind and bought a large Victorian rooming house in Toronto’s Annex neighbourhood and, inevitably, many adventures ensued.  Up until her death, she kept in touch with one of those roomers, a German graduate student, Michael.  She became close friends with her neighbour, Chris Wright.  The next big changes were becoming Mother to Ryan and then Cheryl and Barbara’s decision to become a teacher (remember the one-room school!).  She got her B.Ed—and later an M.Ed—at the University of Toronto and began her teaching career in Scarborough.  She loved teaching at the outdoor ed school and her boss, Malcolm, became a very important mentor and friend.  An amazing story she told involved team-teaching eighty-six grade six kids, with another teacher who, inevitably, became a third lifelong friend, Joan Tadman.  Barbara was a single mom for most of her kids’ school years so being supported by these three close friends as well as other friends, neighbours and colleagues and, in turn, supporting them became a particular joy for Barbara.  She and Chris had big, welcoming homes with a crowd of kids always in and out of both. Other neighbours, JoAnne Harrop and Marc Gabel with their children also joined in with friendship and play.

 

Despite an already full life, in 1988 Barbara dreamed up Showtime, a magnificent summer day camp at St Stephen’s church with her friend JoAnne.  It was a joyful undertaking - we sang and danced our hearts out, and gradually attracted a corps of amazing teens who helped the children prepare a show in nine days, four times a summer!  Barbara guided the teens in script-writing, costume, and scenery prep, with up to 60 children, some as young as four or five, filling in the details.  Here is that one-room school model again with the big ones bringing the little ones along.  Everyone had at least a line or two, illustrating one of Barbara’s enduring principles: nobody could be ‘outcluded’ (one child’s version of the opposite of ‘included’).  Nobody has to be a rock or a tree. Everyone can sing, everyone can dance, everyone can paint, and dress up… everyone is a STAR at SHOWTIME!  Barbara felt it was one of her crowning achievements to help the teens teach the young ones, raising reading standards and social skills, all in an atmosphere of fun. Among those teens were a few young gay men who found a safe place to be themselves; unlike high school which was often a nightmare for them, Showtime was a welcoming home! As you might imagine, tributes have been rolling in steadily from Showtime staff members - twenty (and more) years later - you will see a few, elsewhere on this website.

 

Barbara attained her goal of becoming a principal in 2001.  John D. Parker School in north-west Etobicoke with 800 mostly immigrant students and scoring in the tenth percentile on standardized tests was just the challenge she was looking for.  Whatever anyone may think of standardized testing, she was determined to raise the standards of education beyond ‘the well-intentioned, “subtle racism of decreased expectations”.  In just three years she motivated teachers and students sufficiently to score in the ninetieth percentile!   A truly remarkable achievement. There were a few staff changes, but those who remained were whole-heartedly her team, secured by endless support and encouragement, staff spaghetti suppers and fresh hot scones she baked herself for staff meetings.  Her colleague, Carol Ritchie, became a particular support and friend continuing up until and past Barbara’s retirement in June 2012. In fact, a few of the teachers and colleagues from elsewhere in the school system were so sad at the prospect of losing touch that they formed the Gourmet Book Club which continues up to the present.

 

Some retirement! In August 2012 Barbara set out on her own to walk the Camino, from Roncesvalles to Santiago de Compostela in about four weeks. She did it to celebrate the fact that she could, and in recognition of her recovery from bypass surgery. What an accomplishment! She did a lot of thinking in recent years about weight, about eating disorders, and about her earlier nemesis, the Barbie doll. She was able to make progress in resolving these issues with the help of a counsellor and using the framework of AA’s Twelve Step program.  She put a lot of effort into the step that instructed ‘die without enemies’. Perhaps she did not entirely silence the inner voice, but it is certain that she died with many, many friends, blessing several of us with enduring closeness.  Book clubs, writing groups, cooking circles, big dinners for festive occasions - all ways to connect, to show compassion and kindness, and to be loved.

 

One benefit of the pandemic was that one of her nephews, Michael, started a weekly Zoom gathering of family members which Barbara loved. And so she was loved by her children and other relatives, childhood friends, colleagues, neighbours, former students - dozens of us, who will carry the strands of her life forward in the days ahead. In the end, even Barbie got with the program! We sang, at Showtime, ‘Goodnight, my angel now it’s time to sleep… you’ll always be a part of me…’ Barbara continues, even now, in us, if we can just let her.

 

Written by JA.H. with contributions from Louise Clarke